Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
