In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
