We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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