she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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