I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
