He uses pillows to masturbate.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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