He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
