I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
