my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
