I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I will be naked everywhere
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
