bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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