shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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