Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
