im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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