I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
