I'm eating all of the evidence.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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