White coat. Heels.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
