i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
