Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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