So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
