Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
