I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Still dying that you shit outside
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
