I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
