I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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