the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
