so explain again why im purple
no
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
