I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
