bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Vodka?
Forever.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
