My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
