You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
