bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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