I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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