Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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