Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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