Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
