So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
