How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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