If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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