You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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