Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i would punch a child for taco bell
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
