2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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