two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
