i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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