Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
