I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
