she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
