you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
