Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
