they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
