he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
