Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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